Polite or Passive? Rethinking British Etiquette in Competitive Pickleball

The Etiquette Gap: Are British Pickleball Players More Polite or More Passive?

In the warmth of a community hall in Cambridgeshire, four pickleball players stand at the net, paddles down, offering quiet handshakes and murmured thanks. “Nice shot,” one says, even though it wasn’t. There is no chest-thumping celebration, no line-call challenge, no overt gamesmanship. Just a friendly nod, a water break, and a rotation of players. It is the kind of scene repeated across England, where pickleball has found fertile ground among players who value civility as much as spin serves. But as the sport grows more competitive, some are beginning to ask a sensitive question: does British politeness sometimes cost points?

Polite or Passive?
Pickleball, a game that rewards quick reflexes and clever placement, is inherently social. With its doubles-dominant format, short rallies, and shared courts, it encourages interaction. But within that interaction lies a cultural variable. In the UK, particularly in club play, there is an unspoken emphasis on kindness. Disputes are rare, line calls are often conceded without argument, and few players openly strategise during points for fear of being seen as pushy.

This has prompted an emerging conversation, especially among players who travel for tournaments or play across regions. Why do some British players hesitate to call balls out? Why do they underplay their competitive edge in social sessions? And what happens when they meet players from cultures where assertiveness is part of the game?

“It’s not that we’re too nice,” says Lesley Tompkins, a club organiser in Hampshire. “It’s that we don’t want to be seen as impolite. So people will play a ball they know was out, or they’ll apologise for a winner. It’s very British, but it’s not always effective.”

A Cultural Double-Edged Paddle
The UK’s sporting culture has long been shaped by codes of conduct. Cricket’s “spirit of the game”, rugby’s deference to the referee, and even football’s traditional disdain for diving all reflect a national ideal: win, but do so graciously. Pickleball has inherited this ethos. In many clubs, especially those founded by older players or those with a tennis background, there is a strong emphasis on etiquette.

But unlike lawn bowls or croquet, pickleball is fast, reactive, and often contested in tight margins. A missed line call or an unchallenged fault can swing a match. In informal play, the British approach may create harmony. In competition, it can create hesitation.

A recent friendly between a Yorkshire club and a visiting team from the Netherlands brought this into sharp focus. “They were lovely people,” says one UK player. “But they played with a different energy. Loud communication, aggressive shot selection, and no guilt about putting the ball at someone’s feet. It was jarring, and we lost badly.”

The Grey Areas of Etiquette
At the heart of the etiquette debate lies the idea of intent. When does good sportsmanship become self-sabotage? Is it rude to lob a slower player? Is it impolite to communicate openly with your partner in doubles? Is it bad form to target someone’s backhand repeatedly?

Some British players say yes. Others disagree, arguing that strategy is not rudeness. It is the game. And failure to engage fully in that game out of fear of being impolite does not help anyone improve.

John Rylands, who coaches intermediate players in Kent, often sees this tension in training sessions. “They’ll say sorry when they hit a great shot. Or they’ll avoid exploiting obvious weaknesses. I remind them that pickleball is cooperative in structure, but competitive by nature. You can be respectful without being reluctant.”

The phrase he uses often is: “polite, not passive.”

Generational Divide
Age may play a role in how etiquette is interpreted. Many early adopters of pickleball in the UK came from older age groups, including retirees looking for low-impact sport. For them, the social aspect was primary, and aggressive play was often frowned upon.

But as younger players enter the sport—particularly those from badminton, tennis, or table tennis backgrounds—expectations are shifting. They bring a mindset that views tactical play, vocal communication, and assertive decision-making as normal. In some clubs, this has created friction.

“I once had a club member ask me not to ‘coach mid-rally’ because I was calling out ‘mine’ or ‘yours’,” says Tompkins. “But that’s how doubles is played at higher levels. Communication isn’t rude. It’s essential.”

As these generations continue to mix on court, club cultures are being reshaped. Some are embracing the change. Others are struggling to reconcile social norms with performance goals.

Lessons from Other Countries
In North America, where the sport originated, a more assertive style of play has long been the norm. Clear line calls, mid-point strategy shifts, and forceful net play are considered part of the game. That culture has filtered into UK tournaments, especially at the national and international level, where experienced British players often adopt a more direct approach.

Interestingly, British players tend to adapt well once they are outside the context of their home club. But returning to their original groups, they sometimes feel conflicted. “It’s like there are two versions of me,” says one female player from Surrey. “The competitor, and the club regular. And I have to decide which one to be, depending on who’s watching.”

This duality points to a need for clearer cultural permission within the sport. Can players be encouraged to play competitively without fear of being seen as disrespectful? Can clubs make space for both friendly sessions and more serious ones?

Redefining Respect
The solution may lie not in abandoning etiquette, but in reframing it. Respect does not mean stepping back. It means treating the game and your opponent seriously. It means calling the ball out when it is out—not to win unfairly, but to maintain fairness. It means communicating clearly with your partner, not because you are bossy, but because you want to win as a team.

And it means playing with purpose, even if that purpose includes hitting a drive at your opponent’s feet.

Some clubs are beginning to make these distinctions more visible. They run separate sessions for “social” and “competitive” play. They offer etiquette workshops that include real-match scenarios. And they promote the idea that playing assertively can still be done with kindness.

“We don’t have to abandon our values,” says Rylands. “But we do need to update how we define them. British players can be gracious without being soft.”

Closing the Gap
The etiquette gap in British pickleball is not a flaw. It is a feature of the sport’s local personality. But as the game grows, players must be allowed to evolve. Respectful competition, after all, is not about avoiding contact. It is about meeting each other fully on court—with skill, honesty, and yes, sometimes a firm line call.

Whether British players are more polite or more passive depends on how they choose to balance courtesy with competitiveness. The sweet spot may lie in embracing a new kind of etiquette—one that values fairness, integrity, and the joy of playing hard without apology.